"What If?" vs. "What Is"

Today is March 7, 2018. The president of the United States is Donald J. Trump. I am 21 years old. I will be graduating college in May of this year. The weather outside is beautiful. I currently have a stable job, a great group of friends, and a loving family.

Simply stated, that is "what is". That is what is going on in my season of life and some of the surrounding things around me. Presently.

Tomorrow is March 8, 2018. What if it never comes? What if the president does not get reelected? What if I do not graduate? What if it starts raining? What if I get fired? What if my friends drift away from me? What if my family quarrels?

Simply stated, those are "what if" questions... what could happen, what might happen, or what could have happened in the past.

I understand that the difference might be black and white. It is easy to define "what is" and "what if".

But which one do we usually let our minds wander toward?

"What if I lost a friend? What would my life look like if we never broke up? What if we hurt each other? What would happen if I was just a little prettier? What if I lost 15 more pounds? What if I get hurt in this friendship? What if I get divorced? What if I graduate and I do not find a job? What if I owned that certain car? What if I hadn't made that choice? What if I had just said this versus that? What if I could fix things? What if I could change?"

We often let our mind be consumed with "what ifs" without even meaning to. We can all become guilty of comparison based on "what if" thoughts about the past or future. Thinking too heavily about "what if" can lead to jealousy, depression, worry, anxiety, envy, sadness, discouragement, regret, longing, dissatisfaction, and the constant craving for change. It can also effect our decisions like pushing people away, getting into relationships, not taking jobs, putting our guards up, etc. We could worry about the "what if" until the world stops turning.

"The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, "what is" is what we want." - Byron Katie

"What if" we started focusing on "what is"?

What is the season of life you are going through? Are you focusing on the moments during your day.. or thinking about the past and future seconds of today and tomorrow?

Teach yourself to be mindful enough to live in the present.

There are a lot of ways we can train our mind not to worry. Maybe instead of multi-tasking, focus on one thing at a time. If you are washing dishes, put your full energy and attention into washing dishes. Really embrace the simple things. Actually enjoy your food, appreciate the laughter you share with others, pay attention when someone is talking to you, spend each day reflecting about what is going on in your life, or let yourself enjoy the taste of fresh air. Do not compare your life with others, but focus on the joys that you have in your own.

Put away thoughts of "what if". Be thankful for "what is".