Take off the filter. I dare you.

Vulnerability (n): "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally"

In a generation that swipes left to find the right person, craves for someone to sit across the table as they scroll through their feeds, has created the term "talking" which establishes a place where you're not committed but not necessarily "single", building relationships has become frustrating.

Not only has "dating" turned into emotional roller-coasters filled with expectations of small talk over text, "required" posts on social media to show others how "happy" you are, but engagements suddenly have to be documented by a professional photographer.. and if you do not have a ten-minute video of your wedding with you reading letters to one another at the beginning, what are you even paying for?

Friendships have turned into commenting on selfies and texts that say "Let's get dinner soon" with no follow-up. On websites we have over 800 "friends" that we're exposed to constant updates about their life, but maybe speak to one or two a day.

A friend is no longer someone who rides with you on their bike down the street, they're the one who "liked your photo".

People have become so eager to maximize efficiency and convenience of relationships that they are no longer taking the time to get to know each other. Talks of real life issues with one another label you with "having baggage" or "thinking too much".

But suicides and school shootings are rising, thoughts of loneliness consume minds no matter the age, and mental health is an issue no one is addressing.

Everyone is connected, but no one actually wants to connect. People looking for relationships are looking for someone that fits onto a platform, not a partner. Our day is filled with emoticons but no one is willing to express their real emotions.

Vulnerability is missing. Genuine love is missing. Attention is being given in the wrong way. Gestures have lost their significance.

So what needs to change?

People are so afraid of being hurt that they allow thoughts of "there are more fish in the sea". Those that get divorced can make an online profile the next day to find someone new. New "friends" can be found in another "follower".

We get so caught up in convience that we no longer seem willing to put in the hard work.

Here's my dare to you: turn off your phone. Be present with those you meet. Invest in people, their thoughts, their problems, their struggles. Delight with friends and encourage them to reach milestones. Love those you want to be in a relationship with and do not give up because you face an issue. Stop focusing on how many "likes" you can get and focus on how "likeable" your internal character is. If you're struggling with something, trust those around you to talk about your feelings.

Be vulnerable with people. Allow them to see you without the "instagram filter". Allow people to get the opportunity to know YOU, not the highlights you post. Follow-up with those who ask you to dinner... then turn off your phone and enjoy the conversation. Do not focus on "how much it could hurt" if it ended badly, focus on how much you can grow with a person.

Take off your filter and appreciate others when they do the same.

#friendship #socialmedia #vulnerability