In December, my friend and his wife had their first child. It was exciting to cheer for them as their community followed their new journey as parents. A few days after the birth, they were admitted to Texas Children's as their new baby became diagnosed with a serious health issue that could have forced them to go home as a family of just two. When I went to visit them in the hospital, it was easy to see the grief, fear, and shock of the situation on their face. Sitting with my friend, he said to me "I never thought we would be the people on Facebook that everyone was praying for and talking about."
Through the grace of God, the three of them got to go home healthy to start a new season. The weight of what he told me still sits with me today. We are surrounded by tragedy and without warning, it can hit our homes too.
May is a hard month for me because it's the anniversary of my family's personal devastation. I've been doing small things around my house to help me get through my grief.
Yesterday, my family and I picked buckets of berries with the enthusiasm of what they could later become. Waking up this morning with rainy weather that matched my mood, I decided to put the ingredients together to make a blackberry cobbler.
While I cook, I usually put on a sermon or easy music that will allow the cooking therapy of my hands to match my mind. On my oven, the blackberries simmered and I was introduced Katherine Wolf as she gave her testimony through my phone speakers. A mom of two and devoted wife, Katherine suffered a massive stroke which affected her physically and mentally. Her u-turn in life came randomly and now she writes about how joy doesn't just come through a pain-free life. She shares that we all have our own wheelchair. We all are bound to something, whether it's physical or mental pain that we carry with us.
As I listened to her speak, my hands started mixing together the fixings. Alone, salt can be bitter. Alone, vanilla smells delicious but tastes sour. Alone, flour has no flavor. Alone, sugar is too sweet to eat by the spoonful (unless you're Mary Poppins). Alone, blackberrys can be a bit sharp. Together, all of these ingredients were going to make something so worthwhile.
Life has such a mixture of ingredients. It can be full of joy, grief, anger, heartache, happiness, anguish, gaiety, hopelessness, and glee.
By themselves, each ingredient can have their own weight. Some days you can have a cup full of grief and only a teaspoon of hope. Some days will bring a pint of joy but a pinch of anger. You can have days where you only have one ingredient...moments that are so filled with joy, you mark the memories down as the happiest ones of your life. You can have days where a simple phone call, death, or loss can make you spiral.
No matter what day you have, there's one missing ingredient that causes our recipe to rise. Faith.
The past couple of years, I've really encouraged myself to feel my emotions. It's been a challenge but has been so helpful to allow myself to grieve, allow myself to cry, allow myself to laugh, and allow myself to celebrate.
Life is a mixture, but together with faith, it can be something beautiful. God blends together tons of experiences, emotions, and challenges in our lives. We might have uneven amounts at times and we might have different ingredients than those around us. The good news - everything we experience makes and molds us into who we are. The even better news - God knows each dash, pinch, and teaspoon will get us to who He wants us to be. The final product is going to be more flavorful than we could ever imagine as long as we add faith.
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