"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Happy New Year... It seems to me that 2020 is coming with a suitcase in tow, filled with the promise of change. Personally, my 2019 was filled with heartbreak, grief, unexpected twists and turns, strength, sorrow, and lots of uninvited endings. A new year brings the hope of new beginnings, a fresh start, or a "new you". It seems so exhilarating to have the power to put mistakes, regrets, and tough times in the rearview mirror. It seems so incredibly wonderful to ring in the New Year with goals, promises, and newness to come. All of this can be reasons why we celebrate New Years Eve with excitement, confetti, champagne, laughter, and kisses..
This morning after celebrating the clock striking midnight, I found myself laying in bed with a sense of anxiety. Everything that was good and bad in 2019 was so unpredictable. It felt overwhelming to me to wake up and think about the next 365 of unknown. While I'm not a huge "resolutions gal", I am a pretty big reflector. As I lay there, I thought about all the blessings that the Lord provided me. I remembered all the people I'd lost and all the faces that become friends. I became thankful for how I had grown and how I had been supported when I fell. I prayed for those who had suffered in 2019 and would continue suffering through the New Year. I thanked God for giving me all the tribulations I had received.
Instead of being refreshed and armed to start a new decade, I realized I was scared.
Realizing the unknown, I begin trying to plan what I could accomplish, what I would change, and where I would be at the end of the year. What areas should I work on in my faith, personality, and bad habits? Thoughts started forming about what I could achieve and fear of what could happen in the future.
While it is important to reflect upon your life, what you want, and what you should change, I started to realize how overwhelming that could be. With a future unplanned and no sense of control, I turned to one of my favorite scriptures... Matthew 11:28-30.
I'm not sure what 2020 will look like for me, but I do know that God has already seen it. When I experienced both the joyful things and sorrowful things in 2019, He was already there. He already knew that he would be walking with me through whatever testimony came my way. Change can be so exciting, but it can also bring a feeling of discomfort, distrust, and lost normality. After reading this scripture, my anxiety started to lift. He reminded me that no matter what comes, I can find refuge and rest in the Lord. He wrote to me and said He is gentle and humble and has my best interests in mind. He promised that no matter what happens, He will always know the future.
So... I created a New Years Resolution.
Whatever happens in this New Year and new decade, I will get in the habit of reminding myself God's grace. I will pray for hope when I'm lost, pray for comfort when the unexpected happens, and turn to help when the load becomes to heavy. I will celebrate the blessings bestowed, laugh with those I love, and notice the little things as they come. I will be grateful for both the trials and tribulations. I will tell myself to trust. I will open my heart to others.
But most importantly, I will know who is in control.
Sending showers of blessings, hugs of comfort, and prayers of peace to you and your family in the New Year.
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